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The Relaxed Male

Dec 12, 2019

What makes a man? That is a big question. Many people ask that all that time. There are Quora topics on what a person has to do to be a man. Yet the answer is actually pretty straight forward. With all the navel-gazing many do over this topic, the answer can be summed up on a comparison.

You have one man who is in his parent’s basement he is the stereotypical guy who just is aimless and has no drive. He really doesn’t have a why. Why should he?

Now you have another guy who is in his apartment. He may be paying too much for it. But it is his. He has some furniture but it is far from fully furnished. Yet this guy gets up every day and leaves with a purpose. Now you may say that yeah he has bills to pay. And with that, you are partially correct. The difference between these two examples is besides one being aloof and aimless and the other has a purpose is that the man who lives by himself has a sense of responsibility. But why is this important?

Gives a man his identity

A man who drives a truck is a truck driver. A man who has a family he is a husband and a father. If he is making sure people are safe he is a policeman or security officer. Each of these titles has a particular set of responsibilities. Those responsibilities are what help that man identify who he is and how he fits into society.

Has a sense of purpose

With that purpose, a man is comfortable in his spot in society. His interests may change and with that, he can always switch where he fits in because he knows his purpose. The only thing that changes in that is the tools he uses to help his fellow men. With a sense of responsibility, men know that they are being helpful and providing. Men have to have something to do. That need is ingrained in us. IF we don’t have that “To-do” We become depressed and like the guy in the basement.

An elderly man quickly goes downhill when his spouse dies because she is his responsibility. He lives to make sure she is alright. When she dies he often becomes lost. That is why it is good for an elderly man to find another woman to marry. HE can pick up the mantel of providing for her.

It is what drives him

He is a man with a purpose. Men who know what they have to do become a take-charge kind of guy. That guy is in every man he just has to have the drive to engage in his purpose. Without the drive, he is moody and withdrawn. When he has a purpose his confidence is up and becomes more outgoing

While a man with a sense of purpose and has responsibilities feel more complete they also know they can handle the anxiety that everyday assaults them with. There are fires that come up but he can put them out.

How do you find responsibility?

Take charge of something. It may be as minuscule as the trash but if you start with one small step you will take another step and it will be for a larger chunk of responsibility. Ask your boss for a task. If it is your first time it may be a small task, but that should be welcomed fully. As you tackle that task you will get better. Be ok with failing and if you do fail to own your dirt and don’t try to hide it. Fess up to dropping the ball and tell the boss how you are making up for it. Have a plan.

If you need help figuring out your purpose, you can sign up for coaching with me. We can do a connect session and find out how I can help you