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The Relaxed Male

Apr 1, 2021


Question of the week by The Brotherhood of Men


How do I become a better father, husband, and steward of the community, despite having a rough past?

by Bryan Whitson

Build your 4 pillars of a good man.

Your mind

Read learn and grow. Learn about yourself. Read how to communicate with your son and with your spouse. As you read apply the lessons you learn.

Write in a journal that way you are leaving a gift for your family. You are also able to see your improvements. Writing does a great job of cleaning your mind and empties your thoughts.

with communication though know the secret to all of it is seek first to understand before you are to be understood.

A good book to read is The Boy Crisis by Dr Warren Farrell. The first 3/4 of the book is great the last 1/4 gets a little iffy on some of the claims but that could just be my cognitive dissidence in action.

your body

exercise, build your body. I don’t mean bull up but take care of yourself. This will come in handy when your son and daughter are older. Men also need to control violence in their life, so get into jujitsu or some other physical sport. This teaches you to control and expels the excess energy that will cause you to become listless.

your soul 

Find your passion work towards it. If you are dreaming of having your own business the do it you don’t have to blow all your savings on getting it started but work towards it. Start that journey.

find something that feeds your soul maybe it is volunteering to help the homeless or working for some charity. Maybe it is building RC planes, or carving little figurines out of wood. Find a passion and stick to it. Hint what did you like to do when you were a tween or a teenager? That is a big clue to your calling.

Have a hobby or something you do outdoors. This is another activity that will come in handy when your kids are older and you are wanting them to open up to you.

your community

Get in a church if you are religious. It doesn’t hurt to be in a church if you are not. You need a community that knows you and your family.

Don’t forsake your band of brothers. Don’t stop contact with your old friends. They need you and you need them. Yeah, some will leave as you grow but you will also find others who will take their place but always have a group of men you meet with regularly.

Be apart of a civic organization. Be it lions club freemasons or what. Have a group you can help be a part of something bigger than yourself.

with all that you will be in a better place

Main Topic

Man, it is springtime and before we know it it will end up being summer. Now is the best time to get outside and start getting the benefits of being outdoors. What are some of the benefits you ask? You have vitamin D from the sun. This helps your mood and strengthens your bones. Vitamin D helps with serotonin production and the blue light helps you have a more positive outlook on life.

You also get lots of fresh air when you are are outside. So it would do you good to get the better fresh air from outdoors than the polluted indoor air you have in your house. It doesn't matter if you are running a HEPA filter. Your house is still more polluted than it is in any city.

The exercise you do when you are outdoors helping to get the blood flowing and clears the pores of gunk and it is said that you also sweat out some toxins that might be in your body. Does it? I really don't know but it can't hurt. Then add the fresh air and you are able to fully oxygenate your blood.

How do you get outdoors?

The answer is easy anywhere even in the city you can get outdoors. Yet, if you can get out in the boonies that would be better. You can go camping and see new areas of the world. The camping is really good because you can experience the 3-day effect. which happens when you camp for more than 3 days. So get outside. go camping go swim in a lake. enjoy the wonders of mother nature and all the life that it can give you.