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The Relaxed Male


Nov 25, 2021

Well as this comes out it is Thanksgiving! Time for the family and friends to come together and talk and share in each other's lives for at least a day. Then again it could be you have family that is coming over for several days. We have grandma wondering when you are going to stop being the bachelor or maybe it is your mom who is hounding you to find a girl and settle down.

Your Uncle is wanting to share with you his latest conspiracy theory about how the lizard people in the government are using the nasal swab Covid test to mark those who will not comply so they can be rounded up and shot into space to fend for themselves.

Maybe you have that cousin who is the family favorite and it looks like they have it all together yet to hear her talk you see that she is so deep in debt she can't see her way out of that hole.

The point is that when we get our families together they bring their thoughts and opinions along for the ride. This means that you have liberals and conservatives sitting side by side. You have orthodox with the unorthodox passing bread. You have those that have been radicalized by our colleges making snide comments about how we are actually celebrating the genocide of the Native Americans and our taking over a continent. You have your devout Baptist Grandfather trying to convince your atheist uncle to come to church. This is life and this is family and this is a great scenario to talk about when we look at other peoples opinions

We are thinkers

Yeah, even your ditzy aunt is actually a thinker. We all are. We all have roughly 40,000-60,000 different thoughts each day. Then add to that mix that everything we have in our lives we have unique and individual thoughts. So your thoughts about a particular topic can never be the same as anybody else. Your thoughts are an opinion of that particular circumstance.

Because us humans do like to mix our emotions up with our thinking this can cause many different emotions. You may have someone who likes to troll you while others may feel sorry for you. These are also just thoughts about the current circumstance that is happening. Remember all circumstances are natural, even when someone says, "you are wrong". That is just a circumstance and you have the ability to think whatever thought you want about the matter at hand.

Many times when we hear someone else's thoughts we want to apply our own thoughts in the means of interpretation and make what they say mean something to us. When in reality they can mean just that or they can mean something the complete opposite. Then you add the element of emotions to that and now you start to see how things can get messy quickly. Because of our adding emotions to our interpretations we start getting worked up thinking that one relative doesn't like us or our cousin is just wanting the country to burn. When in reality that may be true or that may be nothing more than a thought.

What about the truth!

The truth that we are talking about is what we believe. A belief is nothing more than a thought we perceive to be true. I have talked a few times about what happens when someone changes religions. Were they wrong the whole time? They may think that but looking at the facts they just changed what they see to be true. It's not wrong. It's just their thoughts shifting with a new set of circumstances.

With that, you can see that yeah Aunt Gladys simply believes that the government can control the weather and that there is a secret basement in a pizza parlor in upstate New York state. You can try to provide her with your interpretations of the facts but she can choose to disregard those facts for her own.

Does the truth matter? Only to those who wield it. Nobody else cares about what your facts are They have their own.

The whole political thing

Yeah, you have your opinions about what is happening in your country. You may think some brilliant strides are being made, or you may think that your country is going to hell in a handbasket. Are you right or wrong? Does it matter what I think? No, You can have open and honest discussions about politics and religion. I actually think it is good to have these. I believe we have done our kids a huge disservice because these two topics were often banned from the dining room table. Yeah, some people are going to interpret what you say to mean something different. Yet, that is OK.

Now don't take this as a means as to you not jumping into a discussion when it happens. That is the glory of the United States. You can have a different opinion and share it openly if you choose. That is why our country is so great. It is the sharing of different ideas and thoughts that create new ideas.

How you can look at opinions

Opinions are nothing more than thoughts. When someone gets upset with your ideas you can rest assured that you didn't make them mad or upset. It is their thoughts that have caused them to become angry or sad or even happy. You cant make grandma happy with your actions. She is happy with what she has interpreted your actions to mean.

So when your family members get upset about whatever, know that they are not angry at you. They may direct it at you but it's not your actions. They are reacting to your actions. This goes for every aspect of life. When someone chooses to get angry at something you said, most often it is because they had an involuntary thought of what you said. Then they are choosing to react instead of responding to that thought.