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The Relaxed Male

Dec 26, 2019

The end of the year is near. Have you set your goals yet? Do you even plan to set goals? This episode is all about goals. We cover the who, What, How’s, and why’s of Goal setting.

Why set goals?

Goals are important to men who want a change. What type of change? Any change you desire. You want to be wealthy. You have to set goals. You want to have a happy marriage you have to have goals.

Goals are the road map of your life. You can get around without a map but you will not guarantee that you will make it to the destination you want. You may make it there eventually but you will not make it in anytime fast. If you set goals, you are making the most efficient path to that destination. Now a map doesn’t show the different hardships you may encounter just the path. You can’t tell if there are potholes along the way but you know where the highs and the lows are.

What are the benefits?

There are several benefits to goal setting the biggest being the effect it has on you. The biggest is that you will build confidence in whatever new skill you take on. You also start having an abundant mindset as you keep making progress with your goals. This is because as you take steps towards your goals you are going to fail. Many times, you may want to give up on your goals. If you keep trying, you will get better with each attempt. The more you try the more you fail until you are able to succeed. Each attempt help you get a little further down the road.

You can look at it as riding a bike. When you first started riding a bike, you didn’t know how you had to try. With each attempt, you got a little better and a little better. It may have started with figuring out how to simply get on your bike and then progress to figuring out how to get it to move. From there you had to crash repeatedly. Until you could ride, up and down the block without falling. Then you were faced with the obstacle of stopping. Eventually, you could do that without bailing off your bike. Goals are like riding that bike.

With each success, you build more confidence and experience with the task. So Yeah, you are going to fail but those failures are preparing you for success.

Another benefit is that you grow with each experience.

Who needs to set goals?

I personally think everybody needs to have a goal or two. You became a more resilient person when you set and strive to achieve goals. With each failure, you become more confident and you learn more skills. Yet most people don’t have goals they either try and fail the first or second time then never try again. Many of these people have a scarcity mindset or sometimes called a fixed mindset. They don’t believe they can learn any more.

So who needs to set goals? Anybody who wants more out of life, they need to set goals. People who desire more success or want to reach for their dreams also need to make plans and set goals. If you are a person who wants a change then you need to start setting goals. If someone wants to travel, again they need to set goals.

Types of goals

There are a few different methods of setting goals. The two that I am the most familiar with are the following

The HARD Method

This method is new in my books. I just found out about it last month. Therefore, I can’t say I am an expert and though many say this is the best way to achieve your goals I do fail to see how it works so well. However, HARD Anachronism means

Heartfelt – make sure you have an emotional connection to your goal. This part I understand. It is important for you to have a connection to your goal so making sure that you have a heartfelt connection to what you are trying to achieve is very important. I would say that it is key to any goals system. Be it HARD or SMART

Animated – This step misnamed but if you want to have a good Name for your system then I guess you have to make some concessions. This is actually visualizing your goals.  What does it mean for you to succeed in achieving this goal? What does it feel like to reach your goal? What does it smell like? How will you act? How will you think? For instance, if you were to get a brand new car, what color would it be? What color interior would it have? Is it Leather seats or fabric? How does it smell? You want to see this goal as being achieved. That is the point of the animated step. It is also very important to any goal you set

Required – From what I have read about the hard method this amounts to your why. Why is this goal important? Why is it required to be achieved?

Difficult – This goes along with the stretch goals. Your goal should be ambitus. You sometimes called a BHAG or Big Hairy audacious goal. Ok, it is good to have large goals. Yet this is where this method loses it for me because there is no timeframe. For success, I believe that a dream is only a goal without a deadline. You want a goal, not a dream.

The SMART Method

Specific – What is the goal? Instead of losing weight, you want to be specific, and say you want to lose 50 pounds. You want to make and extra $50,000, instead of making more money. You want your goal to be as specific as possible.

Measurable – When do you know when you have reached your goal if you are going to lose some weight? You achieved your goal if lose one pound so you want to have a measurable goal line. This way you know that you are making headway and it is easier to see your progress.

Attainable – You want to have an attainable goal. If you have never make a million dollars, how are you going to know how to make a million? Therefore, you want to try reaching for a goal that is attainable like an extra $50,000 on top of the 50 you already make. If you weigh 300 pounds over your goal then it is going to take over a year to lose the weight if you don’t want to have surgery.

Relevant – Make sure your goal fits your abilities. If you have never climbed a mountain before it probably isn’t wise to scale Mt. Everest.

Timely – Set a deadline people reach their goals more often when they know they have a set amount of time. If not you are more likely to leave it until tomorrow.

However you do it, you want to make sure you write your goals down. The acts of writing your thoughts on paper make the goals more real in your mind. You also want to talk about your goals as if they have already happened. That will help keep the self-sabotage to a minimum though it will still happen.

How to set a goal

  1. First, write out all the goals you would like.
  2. Choose 3 that you want to attempt.
  3. Think of those goals and imagine what it would be like if you achieved them.
  4. Answer the reason why you want these goals. If it is to lose weight. You could possibly say something to the like to prevent diabetes and to live longer with your spouse. Find your, "why".
  5. Write these goals down on paper using your handwriting. This very act helps your mind see that your thought is real.
  6. Word your goal out so that it is as specific as you can be.
  7. Write down that specific goal. Make sure you have a means of measuring your progress.
  8. Give it a deadline
  9. Talk about your goal to those who will actually help you. If you have a friend who likes to be a “realist”, you don’t need to tell them your goal. Tell those who are going to help you reach your goal.
  10. Finally, take a step every day to reach that goal.

Important points to follow to help with achieving your goals success

Be OK with failing you will fail in your day-to-day attempts to achieving your goal. Try not to let that discourage you. Find a way to solve that problem and you will become better each time.

There are several different ways you can keep your goals present in your mind. I talk about a few ways you can remember your goals. One of the best ways is to add them to your affirmations list. You can also use post-it notes so that you can see them each day. However, try to keep your goals in the front of your mind that way you don’t wake up with it being November and realize you didn’t do any of your goals. I have done that many times