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The Relaxed Male

May 20, 2021

Join the Operation: Tears of the 22 Off the Hardball event for the veterans. WIll be happening on August 5-8 at Byrd Adventure Center In the beautiful Ozark National Park Sign up Today

Question of The Week by The Brotherhood of Men

All my favorite childhood things such as cartoons, video game characters, toys, etc., are becoming a thing of the past. Is this a sign that it's time to grow up and move onto other things?

Well, I would ask what age are you? If you are 18 or older then yeah it is time to grow up. Now, do you have to let go of the nostalgia or your youth? No, you can dip into that past all you like but make sure that you are not living in the past. Spending all your time wishing what could have been will cause you to lose sight of all the greatness that is happening in the now.

That is why your past is so rich with memories. You were living in the present that whole time. You were excited about the day and what lay ahead of you. You weren’t focused on what had happened. The future was things that were thought of from time to time but that didn’t consume your time either. You had stuff to do and you may have enjoyed the cartoons on Saturday morning and I remember cartoons coming on from 3:00 to 4:00 and that was a snack break before being kicked outside to play some more.

Your past is good to remember but don't depend on it for who you are today. You are a different person from what you were 1 year ago much more so from 10 years ago. You can always enjoy the peaks in the past but like I said don't live there you won't like who you become.

Main Topic

Today there seems to be so much unrest and Yeah I have a view on that and my thoughts on why so many men aren't stepping up to the plate. I wanted to delve into this a little bit this week. Because I think a good part of society has a huge problem in their thinking and this is one reason they are having such a problem with being a victim.

These men today are being taught a dangerous phrase that doesn't serve them. It doesn't help them in any way at all. That phrase is "feel safe". Men are being told they should have a safe place to express themselves or to be able to speak up in a "brave" way they need to feel safe and that is such a dangerous place to start from if you are working at trying to be a man.

This is dangerous because the people teaching these boys that phrase is holding them back from trying anything daring. It screams stay comfortable. I cant get uncomfortable. I have to feel safe to do anything big in life. You know what? That safety is never going to show up unless it is in a school.

That is the worst time you should be telling a young adult that they should play it safe and stay small. Granted some do have the drive needed to ignore that teaching and they go on to do great things. How many more successful adults could be excellent if the kids in college were pushed to get out of their comfort zone?

How many more minorities would be successful and prosperous if the administration in college wasn't teaching them to stay in their safe place? Would there be as much perceived disparity if these young adults were able to handle discomfort and not claim they need a safe place to be themselves? What if they were brave enough to be themselves in public and to not worry about the opinions of those who honestly don't matter in their life?

Why shouldn't people be allowed to feel safe?

First off people have the ability to feel safe wherever they want. The issue is that they expect others around them to make them feel safe. That is impossible. I can not make a person feel something. The same as other people around me cant make me feel anything. I have to take that power myself. Young men are nervous anxiety-ridden wrecks because they are being told a lie.

Many of these young adults want people to pander to their needs and often to the expense of that other person. They want to be heard but not have to listen. They have a strong misconception of what is safe. 

Look at Mike Rowe's Safety Third Initiative He knows you can't put safety first if you do you are more likely to get hurt. You are going to put your trust into something that will get you injured or worse. You can't control anything around you and to attempt so is a fool's errand. With that same concept have a person feel safe is folly because you can't control what other people will think or do.

How do you feel safe when you are feeling uncertain?

It's not easy but you have to gather your courage and strength and just say what you want to hear. Is everyone going to agree with you? No, and you don't want everyone to agree with you. If they do then there is a good chance that some of them are being fake.

So how do you go from having your safety blanket to being able to walk and talk in an assertive manner? If you are used to playing it small then start by doing something that scares you. Just get out of your comfort zone. You will never grow if you are stuck on the couch watching Netflix every day. Go mix it up with a group of people you normally wouldn't be with. If you are used to being around a church congregation all day then find some bikers to talk to. You may find that a few of them actually go to your church.

Join up with a men's group if you are a man. If you are a woman then find a woman's group. Find a civic organization like an Animal Club (Lions Club, Elks Lodge, Order of the Water Buffalo, etc) They are always getting out around other people and doing things that are bigger than themselves.

The more you get uncomfortable, the more you will see that the world isn't nearly as dangerous or awful of a place. You stop seeing dangers everywhere and the more you start living to your fullest